Upgraded to GM (grandmother) at the age of 55, I am not sure if it is a sign of old age or a sign of happiness or both. Feeling buffed, perhaps like a sportsman coming out of the gym showing off his muscles.
When one gets past 40 years old (at least for most women I know), one tends to forget her age. Unlike the teens or the early twenties who look forward to their birthdays, year after year. Oh, you can’t wait to reach your 21st birthday to be an independent adult and wear a key pendant around your neck.
After reaching my early 40s, I tend to reflect in my head and do a little sum to get my age. Mentally I took my year of birth minus the current year equals how old I am. I honestly stopped counting. Inside me, I feel the same way as I did some twenty years ago. My hobbies have not changed though perhaps my body may look a little bit out of shape and my face may show some wrinkles.
The best thing about being a GM to me is that I have successfully gone through motherhood and raised my daughter (or perhaps a son for others) into a fully grown responsible adult about to start her own family. A little one is born, another generation.
A new grandchild tends to be a bond between a mother and her daughter (son). As the daughter reaches out to her mother for advice on what to do with a crying baby, the connection is deeper, more of respect and guidance that the new young mum seeks to care for her baby as her mother had cared for her years ago. Ideally, mother and daughter appreciate each other more fully when the daughter becomes a mother and the mother becomes a grandmother.
Our little Gloria (as I call her but Kirsty is her name) is two months old. She is not an easy baby and demands 100% of her mother’s time. My daughter, Jo is undergoing baby blues, in fact postpartum depression . I wish I could help but having a full time job is no help at all. In my free time, all I can do at this stage are the little things like helping her with dinners and bringing them out for some fresh air. Those are mother-daughter’s bonding times made possible by little Gloria.
This is just the first part of my journey. I have yet to experience any grandmother-grandchild bond. Perhaps when my daughter returns to work, I could care for Gloria where possible hoping to make childcare more affordable for her parents. At present, I cannot imagine myself to be a ‘mother’ (or grandmother) as years ago, I was blessed with help from my aunt (who raised me and my children) or hired help that didn’t cost us an arm and a leg. I have not raised any of my children single-handedly as Jo does (other then when her husband is home) with Gloria.
One day perhaps, I will have a bond with my grandchild, a stronger bond that I ever had with my own children. My three children have strong emotional bond (love) with my aunt whom they look upon as their grandmother. Sharing of affection for each other is the best thing in the family.
As my journey of a GM begins, I look forward to an opportunity for nurturance (mother-daughter), a sense of reliable alliance (bond), showering love and feeling loved.
Feeling good, something money cannot buy.
From the desk of a new grandmother.