New Zealand has always been a nation with an eclectic mix of people and nationalities, and this mixing pot of cultures has led to the country developing its own particular way of speaking.
Kiwis say funny stuff like
‘sex‘ instead of ‘six‘
‘fish and chips‘ becoming ‘fush en chups‘.
If you are told to bring a plate, be sure it has food on it to share.
If you are angry, remember to say you are “pissed off” (not just pissed).
If it’s pissing down, bring an umbrella.
When they tell you to put your woolies on, it refers to any warm layers.
Eh? Used at the end of a sentence when you’re not really asking a question, more providing a statement that you want confirmation for such as “this post is really cool, eh”
If you stay in a country long enough, no matter where you are from, you will start picking up their phrases. That’s ‘sweet as‘. This is the most famous Kiwi phrase, any adjective can be followed by the word “as” for example funny as, hard as, cold as, hot as, cool as, anything as!
We all know that Kiwis pronounce ‘egg‘ as if it was ‘igg‘.
At a party, a magician was producing egg after egg from a little boy’s ear.
“There!” he said proudly. “I bet your Mum can’t produce eggs without hens, can she?”
“Oh yes, she can,” said the boy. “She keeps ducks.”
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet – it won’t break for the first six.
What happens if you play table tennis with a bad egg?
It goes ping, then it goes pong.
What do you call an egg that goes on safari?
What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
It cracks up!
What day of the week do chickens hate the most?
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
Why did the chicken cross the internet?
To get to the other site!
Did I make you laugh? Or Smile or Grin? Funny as!
A misused word, a misremembered song lyric, a cream pie that just happened to be there: tell us about a time you (or someone else) said or did something unintentionally funny.
via Uncanned Laughter.