I was a bride and that was some 29 years ago. I was not fussed about the wedding, no months and months of planning or preparation. It was a celebration we had to go through as expected in our custom and tradition. We tailored made my evening dress and I had only one evening dress unlike brides of today who had at least two or three parading in them during their wedding dinner. We decorated our own wedding car with ribbons and flowers and by the time the car went back and forth from Kuching town to Siburan Village (17 mile from Kuching), the car decorations were half ripped off. Back then, I just wanted to tie the knot with the man I loved and a church wedding was important to me. I was not too fuss at all about the celebration itself although of course we went through the traditions by first having a ‘matchmaker’ coming round to my parent’s house to ask for my hand in marriage and then followed by negotiations on dowry and how many dinner tables the bride’s parents would request of the bridegroom.
Some months ago my eldest daughter finally officially married her partner of nine years. Ironically, she too was not at all fuss on the wedding celebration. Her wedding too was sweet and simple. There was no ‘matchmaker’ that came round to my house to ask for her hand. All I got was a phone call from her boyfriend (now husband) asking for her hand in marriage. There was no dowry talk or how many wedding dinner tables we needed. They had a wedding celebrant who conducted the wedding, witnessed their vows and officially pronounced them husband and wife, all very romantic at the Rose Garden in Palmerston North.
In writing this post, I stumbled upon a very well written, detailed and elaborated post on Malaysian Chinese Wedding. For an insight, please visit Little Brown Bag’s post of a Malaysian Chinese Wedding. I am not able to write in such detail on my wedding which was simple and sweet. I knew nothing much about the customs and traditions and as a naive 22 year old back then in the 1980s, I was helplessly in love with this one special man in my life. Nothing else mattered.
Reflecting back on my wedding and that of my daughter’s, we were just two simple women, ‘like mother like daughter’. Our husbands were blessed, we did not cost them an arm and a leg to win our hand in marriage. ………. in sickness and in health, till death us do part. “I now pronounced you man and wife.”
We were married, as simple as that !
Is marriage even necessary in these modern days? It may be to some culture but not necessarily to others. Personally I believe in marriage and to me, marriage is a bonding and commitment of two people wanting to share a whole new life together.